Just a few days ago, Valentine’s day was here with us. During this period, we had people express their love for others in different ways like giving gifts, going out on dates, ladies getting flowers and chocolates, and for the gents, hopefully getting something that’s not socks (y’all been complaining too much about it). While it is a beautiful thing to show love to those we love and care about, it is more beautiful to shower ourselves with this same love. Knowing your love language, and expressing it on oneself is a key aspect of self-love and should be adopted by everyone. 

The five love languages describe the various ways that we receive or give love. These love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and touch. We all have a primary love language, that is, the love language that appeals to us the most. Mine is touch, what is yours? Feel free to share in the comment section. While most of us know these love languages, we seldom practice them ourselves. We want to be loved in a way that makes us feel special,  but how about loving ourselves first in a way that makes us feel special? 

  1. Quality time

If quality time is your primary love language, you need to set apart some alone time. It is recommended to set aside 30 minutes to an hour of your day to just spend time alone. How you decide to spend this time is not limited. You can go out for a walk, you can sit in and watch your favorite tv show, or you can put on some music and dance to it. You can also opt to meditate or have a  weekend getaway to a destination you desire. The point is to spend this time alone without interference or disturbance from other people or other distractions.

Make time for just you. Explore a restaurant on your own, read a book in the park with some ice cream, etc. Be okay with being alone until it doesn’t feel awkward. So that when a special someone is in your life, they are adding to it and not filling a hole.

  1. Words of affirmation

If your primary language is words of affirmation, then practice these words on yourself. You can chant mantras like ‘I am worth’ ‘I love myself’ etc. Using the words “I am” or “I can”  are helpful in affirming one’s beliefs in themselves.

Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are deserving of all good things. Feed your mind with positive things and it will radiate outwards. As a millennial, life is already difficult as it is, try and make it easier by speaking positive and happy things into your life. Remember, the more you say something, the more you believe it, and soon it starts reflecting in your life. So, why not say positive things to yourself?

  1. Gifts

For people whose love language is expressed through gifts, receiving gifts can be a huge display of love. If this is your primary love language, then treat yourself to some gifts every now and then as a sign of self-love. Gift yourself with the things you love. Buy yourself something nice just because. Even if it’s not your birthday or any special day; for being strong and coming this far. 

I know memes are now telling us things like “If the money you have can’t solve your problems, then eat the money” and “Any little money I get, I do enjoyment”. Yes, it is important to enjoy life, party, and spend the money you work for. However, remember to know the distinction between what you want and what you need. 

  1. Acts of service

This may seem like a difficult love language to practice on ourselves as it often relies on other people to perform the acts of service for us. You can however practice it on yourself by finding out what needs to be done or what you require to do to make you happy or to make your life easier and then doing it. Do something nice for yourself. Cook your favorite meal and eat it. Get yourself a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, etc. 

  1. Touch

Some of the ways that one can practice touch on themselves is by massaging their muscles, taking long bubbly baths, going to the spa, moisturizing their skins with oils and lotions, etc. Find the touch that makes your body feel good and practice it on yourself.

Also, learn to love your body; stretch marks and all. After you shower, take time to oil your body and shower it with love. You only get one body after all. 

By identifying your primary love language and practicing it on yourself, you practice self-love and learn how to love yourself each day. 

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

~Buddha

Sharonah ❤❤❤