In today’s article, I’m writing this because I feel like a decade ago certain things were considered abnormal but right now no one talks about them. People have normalized things that ought not to be normalized. 

To the men who urinate on walls; I am sorry to say this but it is so irritating and unhygienic.

To the men and women who spit on pavements; this behavior is disgusting. The fact that you may spit and rub on it doesn’t make it appropriate. 

To the people who no longer value the beauty of our land; it honestly saddens me. 

After all is said and done and we ended up turning the whole country into a dumping site, what will be left of where we live?

Picture yourself drinking a soda as you walk/drive to work or to your home. Upon finishing the drink or food why do you always feel the urge to look for a dirty site to throw your garbage? It may be true that you are not the person who first made the site a dump site but you still haven’t done anything to rectify the situation. 

Teach your kids /friends/spouses/neighbors/co-workers that there is nothing wrong in carrying your waste until you get to a place you can dispose of safely.

Here are some of the things that we should actually normalize;

  1. Saying No 

We get into wrong partnerships, and have a continuous cycle of broken hearts due to failed relationships. We complicate friendships and our lives simply because we were unable to say just one word, ‘NO’. How did your life change after you attended all those parties that you wanted to say NO to but didn’t want to break your friendships? How many times have you lost track of yourself following other people’s dreams simply because you didn’t say NO?

Deep down you know it will not work out, you are aware that you are on the wrong path of unmeaningful; relationships/partnerships/ friendships/ wrong choices. It’s about that time of the year to turn that YES to a NO. Normalize saying NO and normalize receiving NO as a response it works counter currently. 

  1. Checking on people 

This generation can be a bit selfish; updating statuses, putting filters, we can be cold in our responses and literally we can fake anything we want all for the likes, right? Our insta stories rarely match up to who we really are. Take 5 minutes of your time and check up on your friends, life doesn’t always revolve around you. Normalize telling people you love them, be genuine in your confessions. You may never get another shot at this. 

  1. Be a little selfish 

Some of us have gotten used to living for others to an extent that we have been submerged to what others want/think about us. We no longer remember; who we are, what our dreams were, what it feels like having our own thoughts, or what we love or hate without being influenced. Being a little selfish is at times the best gift you could ever reward yourself. Normalize selfishness in order to discover and rediscover who you are. This is your story, you are not a character in other people’s stories. Though selfish may not be termed as the appropriate word by many, the point is you need to set up boundaries in your dealings with people.

  1. Learn how to give away free compliments  

I was having a conversation with my friends and from it I gathered that being a Kenyan is not knowing how to say thank you/respond to a compliment. For example try complimenting a random stranger, “your boots look lovely” their response will be “thank you” and they will go about their day feeling good and more confident. That’s a genuine compliment. 

Try complimenting your friend that her hair/bag looks beautiful most of them, instead of saying thank you, they will take 45seconds looking at you then reciprocate the compliment, ‘your nails too look good’ . I don’t know how I feel about this but the truth is genuine compliments don’t need a response as a compliment not unless you intended to compliment them first but they beat you at it by complimenting you first. 

Normalize complimenting people for no reason, put a smile on someone’s face. We should learn how to take in compliments by saying ‘thank you’. 

  1. Don’t feel bad for expressing your feelings 

Feeling broken, confused, having tears run down, feeling weak, depressed, having spiral thoughts; I wish we had safe spaces where we never have to be sorry about how we feel. At times our issues might feel bigger than other people’s issues, let’s give each other an ear and time to express what we all feel. You may learn a thing or two from other people’s experiences. 

  1. Normalize seeking help, don’t be embarrassed. 

Even if we fail to accept it, at a certain point in our lives we have asked for help, be it financially or mentally. Feel free to seek professional assistance, make it a normal thing. 

  1. Not having to explain your choices to others; 

Why you can’t drink or attend a party or why you are an introvert. People may tend to think you owe them an explanation even when your choices don’t involve them. You owe no one an explanation but yourself. 

  1. It’s okay to walk away from friendships, relationships. 

It’s normal for friendships/relationships to fail; when it gets toxic and unbearable it’s okay to let go if it doesn’t work out. 

I know we are different and that’s what makes us unique independently. What have you normalized in 2021? Share your thoughts down at the comment section. 

MaryMwas ❤❤❤